Key: Constructive Communication
By: Jessica Manuel
News Flash: A smile can make you approachable but dishonesty is easily transparent. Your words can be used to confuse, harm and manipulate others, or can be used to encourage and love others. This is your choice, and your choice alone.
Reality: personal relationships or business partnerships are not constructive without effective communication.
Effective communication is not something you’re born with; it is something you witness, experience and practice. We learn this as a baby, crying to get food when we’re hungry, that communication can satisfy our needs or create and explain experiences. Successful communicators can adapt their style based on who their speaking to and what they want them to believe, accomplishing more than silence ever could.
Love is not something you’re necessarily born with either. Some people are disappointed by the ones that should love them the most, making it hard for them to grasp love again. Love can create feelings of security, passion or excitement, and is usually from someone who is dependable, trustworthy and honest. Further, love for yourself and others can create sufficient and effective communication.
We can spend our whole lives trying to understand communication or love, and a chain of experiences can limit our ability to invest or sustain the right relationships. “News flash”: you can not contribute, perceive or appreciate healthy relationships if you don’t know what it is, or what it feels like.
In my life I’ve realized that the absence of communication in my household as a child created an inability to effectively communicate or love others and internalizing fears; I couldn’t even asking for food at home! It was easier for me to be hungry rather than to deal with rejection from my parents. CRAZY RIGHT?!
What I failed to realize is that they probably would of fed me, if I asked. Seems silly, but if a child cannot ask for the basic needs, how are they to progress? Health suffers, school suffers and it leads to bigger problems.
The “great news” is: No one else is in charge of your destiny except for you. So I chose to take action and embrace opportunities. I found a way to properly build trust, set boundaries and set clear expectations through transparency and communication; a process used in my personal and professional journey, religiously.
And so life begins…..
Today, investing in people is the most rewarding use of my time. Networking, finding mentorship and connecting like-minded professionals is only a start. Passionately building the local church, donating my talents to the community, or inspiring and empowering others are a few ways I’ve decided to give back.
This is how I “walk my talk.”
Are you causing a “ripple-effect” in society, giving your time to people that have potential to do more than you could ever do on your own? Are you planted and sowing into building a stronger, sufficient, selfless society?
If you’re aspiring to be a leader, find a leader to learn from and lean on. If you are a leader, always be looking for someone else to lead. In the end, the more time you invest in the seeds you plant, the more fulfillment you’ll inherit from seeing the field grow.