The Chain of Unforgiving


Get uncomfortable, it’s good for you.


One of the biggest mistakes someone can make is becoming bound by a life full of disappointments. If you know someone who is carrying an unforgiving heart you will notice that it is affecting their body language and attitude (especially when they are reminded of that hurt or disappointment). If it becomes a lifetime of hurts with no outlet, it hinders their ability to progress and attract good people. At times they may seem irrational, paranoid, cynical and distrusting.

Personally I do not accept being around someone who continually causes others to feel the weight of their circumstances (not to be confused with supporting someone who wants to break free) because you can’t always help the unwilling, bitter heart. I respect people that endure challenging circumstances but choose to overcome, embracing honesty, humility and ownership.

When you hold onto things that hurt you it robs you of your present opportunities and respective future. Life is far too short and beautiful for that!

Before I admitted that most of my success as a speaker, entrepreneur and banking professional was a heavy weight on my shoulders, I didn’t realize how much potential I had – naturally. It seemed like I wore a mask and I struggled to admit that life was difficult. I was trying to hold it all together, portraying happiness and contentment, choosing to stay ignorant to how I was actually feeling. In a way this allowed me to gain strength and independence but it also made it impossible to forgive; I never accepted the fact that I was hurting and was the first step to healing. Some people never get to this point until they are much older but thankfully for me, when I became a Christian I began to realize that I was hurting.

To think of painful things is never someone’s favorite pass-time so it’s safe to assume that everyone has to be intentional about spending time in solitude, to understand how you’re feeling and if there is anything you need to take ownership of and change. You can write it down, talk to someone you trust, pray, meditate… regardless of the outlet, this will take commitment. Ideally if this is done habitually the chain will be lighter and eventually you will be free to do more with less effort.

Why do I do it?

For me: I want to be a leader, and that (alone) is enough of a reason to practice forgiveness and inner healing. You can’t be a servant leader if you have the wrong attitude and you can’t serve with humility, honesty, patience and encouragement if you’re holding onto pain and disappointment. A leader will serve with genuine integrity and expect nothing in return. The best leaders I know have amazing perspectives on life and their situations.

I want to lead by example so I need to set my best example.

When people disappoint you, forgive. When others make choices that are not based on integrity, stand up for righteousness. If people choose to hurt you and do not want to change or apologize, still choose to forgive and let go.Life is too short to hold onto the things that hold us back… we all have a huge mountain to climb so let’s climb in freedom and Break the Chains!


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